Day 1: The Purpose Driven Life

The first sentence in the first chapter states “It’s not about you.” That made me laugh out loud. Supposedly it’s all about God. It’s not about my happiness, family or career but God.

I must admit, the first chapter confused me. If everything is about God and god’s plan, why the fuck does he need me? Am I just a rat in a maze teased by the smell of cheese so that I could bump in corners and hallways, so some scientist could document how long it took for me to figure out the puzzle for the prize? Why does God need anybody? If god knows all and sees all and already plan it before I was bored, wouldn’t that be boring? I mean if he knows all and see all; he’s going to know those who just going to say “Fuck you.”

I mean if god knew all , why didn’t he see the devil coming. The devil was once one of his best angels. And what about Eve. I mean didn’t he know Adam and Eve were going to eat that damn apple. Maybe god doesn’t know all and see all. I would think knowing what’s going to happen next would be so boring.

Which brings me back to why the first chapter in "the purpose driven life" pissed me off. I first had to decide if I believed in God and then I had to decide if God was an asshole. I mean I have no desire to spend eternity worshipping anybody. If god is that lonely, he should get a dog.

I decided god is not that lonely. Not my god. I think god is individual like I believe God isn’t taught, he or she is discovered. I don’t think you can teach anyone god. I think you can teach rules and rituals but that’s not God. Growing up we were made to go to church five times a day, eat the cracker and drink the wine, pray at night, but that didn’t teach me anything about god. It taught me that when I grew up the first thing I was going to cut out my life was church. I hated the ritual and all the hypocrisy. I hated that I couldn’t question anything.
Growing up I realized quickly that others exploited and manipulated the word of God for their own personal gain. If god was all knowing and seeing and I had questions, wouldn’t god allow me answers? I mean he knew I was going to question, since he was all knowing.

Funny, at the end of the first chapter the question I was asked to consider “In spite of all the advertising around me, how can I remind myself that life is really about living for God, not myself?”

I laughed because the book itself I figured was some form of advertisement for its own personal gain. At least that was my first impression. I wasn’t going to go into the book with fearing god or any of that bullshit. I was going to go into the book that if I believed my life was purposeful; I was interested in seeing how I could fulfill its meaning. I was ready to read more.