Sitting on the dock of the bay

Wow, sitting up in the hospital having my kidneys flushed because of some bad medication I realize that it's been sixteen years since I've run away from home. I used to hate saying that i ran away, more like to think I just moved out at five o'clock in the morning without nobody knowing. I still remember that day like yesterday. The decision was final like escaping Alcatraz or something.. I was so damn scared. I had no idea where i was going or if it would accept me. I just wanted out. Living where i was living was like pure suffication. I felt as i was starving everyday. It wasn't my intent to hurt anyone,, I just needed to get out. I look at some fifteen year olds who run away, the street kids knowing that once i was one of them and sometimes i know it's tragic but in thier hearts they are free. I know that freedom. It's a hard freedom. I remember David this really beautiful boy back in Texas who parents kicked him out at thirteen years old. He was dead ten years later from HIV and drug overdose. He didn't survive that hard freedom. I sometimes wonder why I did. Now that i'm thirty one years old, i accept that fact i ran away from home. It means that i didn't deal with the issues why i was running. Well it's actually taken about fifteen years to deal with those issues, to get clarity, to try to heal.

I don't regret it. It was the best decision of my life. I don't think you're too young to not know what you're doing. I think you just have to follow your heart. I say to all those kids packing their bags and heading out to the big bad world at thirteen years old or seventeen years old, help is there if you need but you can't RUN from your past forever.