My two cents on blogging

Can you really know a person from their blog?

I often think that I’m misunderstood, and that’s in real life so I can imagine the confusion I must create in my blog. Sometimes when I’m out someone will come up to me who has been reading my blog and tell me it’s really dark and sad at times. They ask me if I’m okay. I laugh. I guess the subject matters I discuss like drug addiction, alcoholism, suicide and mental institutions and illnesses gives them some concern. On surface in real life, I come across as a happy go lucky flirtatious guy. It wouldn’t seem I would know about so many dramatic issues that I put in my blog.

I wouldn’t say I’m exactly what I write about in my blog. It’s part of my personality, actually a really small part. I try not to get too personal even when I’m writing about very personal issues like break-ups or relapses. I try to be sorta of general but still tell my truth.

The problem I found with writing about personal issues sometimes is that some people automatically think they know me. I remember after I published “Who is Sean” I was talking to some guy I had known for like a year. When he read my book, his entire perception of me changed. He automatically thought the character “Sean” (a promiscuous parti boy)was verbatim me. He started making very aggressively sexual advances towards and telling me what he thought I liked. He wouldn’t stop until I hit him in his jaw. I felt that was the scary thing about being a writer. Sometimes you unintentionally invite insanity and freaks.

I am not my blog. My blog is just a part of me. A person who hadn’t seen my picture couldn’t pick me out of a police line-up just from reading my blog. People who read my blog should like what I had to say, not assume how I am living my life. It’s just a glimpse. It’s not the story.

It got me to thinking, why blog? I guess I can say I started blogging before it was popular. I had a tacky website years ago where I posted my bad poems and short stories. I didn’t even know I was blogging. It didn’t have a name back then. I suddenly started writing about my life. I guess I just wanted to document my life for a year. I guess I started blogging because I saw it as a virtual journal. I didn’t tell anyone but people find out and I made some internet friends.

I came into blogging again a little more professionally or neater when my book was published. I figured it was a good way to promote myself and give a glimpse of who I am as a writer. I figured it would sell books. Besides, it was doing the time when all the black gay writers had websites or blogs so I didn’t want to be left out. I wanted to put my mark on the blogging world. After a few months, I didn’t upkeep. The blog changed from explaining my personality to me just posting naked pictures of myself. I called those the heavy drug years. I was still young and discovering my body and just wanted to show it off. I was looking for attention. I guess that’s when blogging turned into me looking for attention.

I’ve had many blogs. I start a blog, hate the title and then just delete it. I couldn’t make up my mind about what I wanted to call my blog. I couldn’t make up my mind how I wanted to present myself to the world. But I always kept my original blog “a life not so black and gay.” Mostly because it was free. The blogs I paid for usually went into collections.

Now why do I blog? That’s a good question. It depends. Sometimes it’s a form of exhibitionism. I like writing about my life and lately my recovery. I think of a journal, something I can look back at and see how I’ve grown. I’ve grown a lot in my blogging. Sometimes, it’s to strengthen my writing. Sometimes as a writer you must write just to write like exercising. I also like testing out short stories to see if they get some type of reaction from anybody in the virtual world or maybe an agent.

I’m glad I’m writing this blog because it brings clarity to my blogging. I don’t have to do it. It’s not like I’m getting paid, net yet at least.

A friend of mine recently asked me what he could do to make his blog better. At first I didn’t understand the question. I really didn’t feel as if my blog was spectacular. I sorta knew what he mean, which was how could he get more people to pay attention. He’s a nudist and exhibitionist so the more people who pay attention to him the happier he is.

Blogging has taken over the last couple of years as in everybody and their mama has one. It’s just as common as email so the intentions of blogging are really different. I’ve found with blogging it’s really the intention of the blogger that determines the direction of their blog and who they will attract. I write about addiction, alcoholism, so I get a lot of AA people ready my blog or recovery addicts. I used to get a lot of black gay men who commented on my blog, it various.

I think the first issue when a person decides to blog is that will it be personal or business.

Business blogs are those who are actively seeking advertisers so their visitor counts usually have to be high. The business blogs are usually those who are self-promoting some type of product. Also another business blogs are the celebrities blogs. So business blogs tend to be a lot more focus and maintained to keep their audience.

A personal blog has no financial personal interest. It’s really just for friends and family and the voyeurs. It’s true that some personal blogs eventually become business blogs but most are just ranting geeks with computers. I feel with personal blogs the blogger has more freedom because there’s no pressure which is a reason why personal blogs aren’t updated that often.

I know my blog is a personal blog. It really doesn’t have a real direction. I just write whatever comes to my mind and the upkeep is sporadic. I also don’t solicit for visitors; people usually find me some way. I don’t think too much about it.

But as I think back why I originally started blogging I remember it was another form of expression for me. I just wanted to write. I just wanted to be part of the virtual world. I was a writer and wanted to tell the world. So even if my blogging has gotten a little bipolar recently, my intentions are the same therefore in the future I will try to be more consistent.

So to answer that friend questions how to make his blog better is to decide if it’s personal or business and the intention. If you blog it, trust me they will come read it.