Distractions

A year ago it seemed impossible for me to turn my life around. I considered myself fucked. I was down in the hole addict and alcoholic, jobless, my credit was bad, my health had been detoriating, I had no friends or connection because I burned every bridge that offered me help. It really did just seemed hopeless I knew I was going to slip into obscurity, become one of the crazy homeless or a john doe at the morgue.

I had no idea how to turn it around. I started reading a lot of self-help books. Shit, I had been reading the self-help books for years and nothing ever seemed to work. I even went to one of those “Secret” workshops hoping to get some inspiration or something but walked away even more disappointed. It just seemed they just wanted to sell me more crap and I didn’t have any money.

Change isn’t easy. I figured I make up my own guide to success and follow it. I didn’t want to hear or read about those who already made and living in their big mansions or whatever. I was still in the struggle. I didn’t want to become a better person, I just wanted to not have to live from check to check. I suddenly had an American dream.

Why do we change? I guess there comes a point in our lives were we just need more. I guess there comes a point in our lives that we haven’t found what we’re looking for. I guess you really can’t change unless you know what you looking for. Unless you’ve gotten angry and understand the sacrifice.

I think change is a fantasy. I think people believe if they switch their friends, neighborhoods, jobs or city, that’s change. What they do is just recreate old situations.