when i lost my mind

I write this for you, you who will come looking

Begins With seeing sight dying
Some call it suicide
It ends with seeing dreams beginning
So call it rebirthI started to lose my mind
When I got my front teeth knocked out at the gay club
Thought because I was cute
I wasn’t protected like raw sex
Just had the right body
Thought because I followed the rules
No fats or fems
But had to learn the hard way
When you're hurting you will hurt
and it will find you likeHoes
walking certain streets corners
Couldn’t save me
Cause I couldn't see me
Like before god said let there be light
I write this for you who will come looking
for thisPoem
Yourself
Salvation
To understand
your death
I write this for you
Who they told you were somebody
When you knew you were nobody
Just another illusion in the timeline
Just another headstone with no name
Yes I thought I was cute
Yes I fought in the club
to get my dick sucked
Yes I bottomed for deep voices and no rules
But in the end
Still a headstone with no name
In the end, expiration
When it wants you
It makes you think not to ask why it wants you
And it's so seductive
Because you don't like yourself
And when it wants you
You want it to want you
Like selling yourself to the devil
It’s so easy to get in hell
Not preaching
Just reaching
For something I forgot to hang on to
like the neck that broke in lynchings
So I write this for you
Or I write it for myself
Because I went looking
Lost my mind
Had so many pics of my be hind
past
Lusting niggas who just want to dig into divine
yesterday
But I was malignant
The cancer so ignorant
Refusing treatment
Thinking it would make me stupid
And wanted
And lonely
When I was lonely to begin
With
So I write this for you
You who will come looking
And I sayLose your mind
so that you can love you better
And if you hurting
Hurt with find those who don't love themselves better
It isn't about death
Or the newest deception
Think of your life as a journey of salvation
Or redemption
Or demystifying god
when Atheists get got sucking trees
But think of your life
Before mental intuitions
or jailthose who don't choose only get death
Before somebody decided
I got toothless
To understand my bite
it's no money
just angry
and sometimes that's enough