Last night again tom and I got into it. I’ve been reading old blogs about our relationship and how it’s been so volatile. Last night he split my lip. He said it was an accident like me putting a hole in the wall was accident. That was no accident. I got an interview on Monday and he accidentally hit me in my lip and split it, I don’t understand my life anymore, and I keep trying to get him to read the purpose driven life. Maybe he doesn’t want his life to have a purpose. Maybe my time with him is spent.
Day 4
Made to last forever
I’m not for sure if I will last forever. I know my soul will go and do different thing but I comprehend the process.
It seems my life at the moment is full of so much drama within itself that I can’t think about eternity or whatever. I just want to make it to tomorrow. I just want tom to forgive me. I just want to forgive him.
It seems so easy to say I’m preparing myself to be by god side when there is so much bullshit going on in my life. Why do I still get angry? When did I start punching holes in the walls? When did I start holding on to the anger. I want the forever. I need to remind myself I’m more than this life. It’s so hard to forget. I don’t like chapter four. It’s not telling me what I want to hear.
The complicated context of the "N" word.
10 years ago
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