Tina hit a three in the morning
he says gay men are all the same
we need the addictions
that we all drink or do drugs
I was thinking he was just talking about people like us
the others lie
try to pretend they don’t go to bathhouses, weren’t getting fucked on camera at Blatino
aint picking up the trade boys
too many saying keep my secret that I’m a HIV counselor but don’t wear a condom
I got to his house and he had porno on all the televisions
the fuck music bassing in the background
I was just trying to get high
ran out of liquor decided I needed drugs
he says gay men are all the same
just dogs
I was just thinking how he was gong to get my dick hard
he says gay men are all the same
we need the addictions
that we all drink or do drugs
I was thinking he was just talking about people like us
the others lie
try to pretend they don’t go to bathhouses, weren’t getting fucked on camera at Blatino
aint picking up the trade boys
too many saying keep my secret that I’m a HIV counselor but don’t wear a condom
I got to his house and he had porno on all the televisions
the fuck music bassing in the background
I was just trying to get high
ran out of liquor decided I needed drugs
he says gay men are all the same
just dogs
I was just thinking how he was gong to get my dick hard
*****************
the freaks, the whores, the regulars
I was nineteen but saw him for five years
dark skin so drowning
ass a full moon
laying like a dead body on stains sheets at the bathhouse
he always had his door opened
inviting the wicked to his flame
the only guy I could fuck because I never saw his eyes
he was my niagra fall
I didn’t want to be real like feeling alive
he was like my rape when I was five years old
loved how he just took and never told
loved how he arched his back
wanted to be him
because he was nobody like the used condoms on the floor
loved how he made me feel normal
when I I fucked him, I always
gave him my babies
one night he showed me his face
his eyes like knives, lips like sandpaper
old like not too many years to celebrate bithdays
so I kissed him
wanted his death to take me to the grave
I knew I would grow up to be just like him
I never fucked him again
******************
I was nineteen but saw him for five years
dark skin so drowning
ass a full moon
laying like a dead body on stains sheets at the bathhouse
he always had his door opened
inviting the wicked to his flame
the only guy I could fuck because I never saw his eyes
he was my niagra fall
I didn’t want to be real like feeling alive
he was like my rape when I was five years old
loved how he just took and never told
loved how he arched his back
wanted to be him
because he was nobody like the used condoms on the floor
loved how he made me feel normal
when I I fucked him, I always
gave him my babies
one night he showed me his face
his eyes like knives, lips like sandpaper
old like not too many years to celebrate bithdays
so I kissed him
wanted his death to take me to the grave
I knew I would grow up to be just like him
I never fucked him again
******************
looks how it shines for you
when I’m in love
I’m in love, so tragically
write you love poems, bring you roses everyday
but when I hate, everything must end
kick you out of my bed, tear up all your pictures
when I’m in love, we have romantic dinners
I try to be god, love like jesus did
but when I’m rejected
i’m the last circle of hell
the devil who just wants your soul to burn
call your mother to tell you have premature ejacutions
send naked pictures to your co-workers
when I’m in love, I hold you close, play with your toes
cook you pancakes for breakfast
but when I think you leaving me I call the landlord
take you off my lease, close all the accounts, want you to starve to death
when I’m in love I give you my wallet
try to buy you the world
but when I hate you
I want to destroy everything you were
get you fired from your job
thinking about killing you in your sleep
when I’m in love I think about our kids
us as old folks feeding the birds
but when I hate you
I’m not myself anymore
gave you too much
when I love you, I pray for sanity
don’t want to be your past mistakes
don’t want our happiness to be a lie
so when I love
I’m scared
because I need to survive you
when I’m in love
I’m in love, so tragically
write you love poems, bring you roses everyday
but when I hate, everything must end
kick you out of my bed, tear up all your pictures
when I’m in love, we have romantic dinners
I try to be god, love like jesus did
but when I’m rejected
i’m the last circle of hell
the devil who just wants your soul to burn
call your mother to tell you have premature ejacutions
send naked pictures to your co-workers
when I’m in love, I hold you close, play with your toes
cook you pancakes for breakfast
but when I think you leaving me I call the landlord
take you off my lease, close all the accounts, want you to starve to death
when I’m in love I give you my wallet
try to buy you the world
but when I hate you
I want to destroy everything you were
get you fired from your job
thinking about killing you in your sleep
when I’m in love I think about our kids
us as old folks feeding the birds
but when I hate you
I’m not myself anymore
gave you too much
when I love you, I pray for sanity
don’t want to be your past mistakes
don’t want our happiness to be a lie
so when I love
I’m scared
because I need to survive you
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