Not so black and gay

today i forced myself out of bed. I didn't want to go to work but i knew once i got there i be okay. I think staying at home under the covers makes it worse. I think i'm getting better.



I still got four weeks until we break up but i already miss him. I can hold him anymore. I can't kiss him anymore. Why do i want to do all that with him when i was with him i did none of it. Maybe i'm the type of person who needs to lose things in order to appreciate it.



He's not the first. When I broke up with my very first boyfriend, I didn't miss him until it was over. I didn't cry for him until it was over. The entire relationship i treated him like crap but when he finally decided to leave me I became such a little kid. I became such a drama queen. I told him i needed him but for n